


fate

by nexzare



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), I honestly dont know what this is, just wanted to write something after episode ix teaser trailer came out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:38:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nexzare/pseuds/nexzare
Summary: they meet in a desert, the force pushing them ever onward.





	fate

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i don't know why i wrote this but here it is. it's not the greatest piece ever but i hope someone out there can enjoy it. i love rey and ben solo. i hope he gets redeemed in episode ix. i don't know much about star wars, honestly. i just started getting really into after tlj. forgive me if anything is wrong. also this is whole thing is just a mess.

rey stands in the heat and sand, reminded of use to bes of  _ jakku.  _ she can feel it, something important on the horizon and another memory she must come to finally face. the wind blows gently, letting the sand sink into her calves and give her the oxygen she needs as she takes in deep frantic gasps. she’s afraid, and for what she is not sure. 

 

afraid of the past, maybe, fearing the same cycle of events. perhaps, it will never end how she wants it to be. the world is cruel and unfair, and she is one that understands this the most. rey could think up dreams and fantasies still, yet she hated to be reminded of the what ifs of reminiscing. how everything could go so incredibly right, only for it to fall back into such wrongness. could have been the timing was off, she pushed too hard or simply she had misconceived it all. wondered if she could go back and do it all over again,  _ remember it so clearly.  _

 

_ wasn’t it all you ever wanted, child?  _

 

she narrows her eyes at the mountains in the distance, a noise buzzing in her ear. no one is around, save her. finn and poe are off making plans without her while she must deal with what she had been putting off for almost a year now. possibly, a year too long and maybe not long enough. either way, this is the day of reckoning and it has come for her whether she wanted it to or not. neither friends nor foe could change the fates and force. 

 

rey lets out a deep breath, to calm herself and searching for the force. it’s all around her  ―  if she looks close enough, listens close enough,  _ reaching  _ back out to her. all rey does is center herself, letting it flow through her and wrap itself around her.  _ that force doesn’t belong to the jedi.  _ she doesn’t try to control it or bend it to her own will, she stands straight and tall and lets it move throughout her system. she can feel it, and it’s an indescribable feeling. 

 

pulling her saber from her belt, she sees a ship far off. determination begins to spread its way through her bones, and she can hear  ―  _ you can do it, kid.  _

 

the world around seemingly holds its breath for the scene, the earth pushing the show forward. fate about to collide and explode for but two people, of which have been running for so long from it. the mountains watch ever on, silent eyes and gazes on what’s below. the cloudy sky, a fog of emotions already beginning to clear. the connection zips to life, and it’s  ―

 

they can feel it ― _i can feel it_ ― _you can feel it_ ―

 

_ us _ .

 

the ship flies ever on, and rey can feel the ground beneath her vibrate. she watches it soar close to the ground, the sand and dust kicking up behind it. it’s ― _i’m coming for you_ ― and she will be ready. she switches on her lightsaber, showing this and she can feel a hint of something that she can’t name. 

 

rey turns around, getting into a running pose as she waits. she can feel the earth shake more violently as the ship grows louder. it’s nearing, and she looks over her shoulder to see how close it has become. she doesn’t feel afraid now, more determined and confident than ever before. the force is with her and ― _i’m with you, i’m with you, i’m with you ―_ and the connection echoing and bouncing throughout her mind. 

 

she gets a running start, the wind whipping her hair back and she’s gritting her teeth. bracing herself for what is to come, what she must do. there was no intent to kill her, no blaster bolts and no mind games to slow her down. it was almost as if something was urging her on, not a voice or thought but a feeling. 

 

_ here, here, here, here, now, now, now, now ― _

 

pushing with all her might, she flips up into the air, lightsaber tightly gripped in her hand as she projects herself towards the aircraft. with her left hand flying to her saber, she manages to slam it into the metal and land on top of the ship. it knocks the air out of her but she is not fazed. her elbows and knees will be scraped up, but what consequence does it have on a girl who’s always had bruises on her elbows and knees. 

 

looking down through the glass, she sees a face peering back at her. his face ― _here, jedai, are you ready?_ _― here, boy, are you? ―_ she stares back and it feels as if all time and space has come to a halt as they take each other in. there’s hurt, betrayal, sorrow, anger, and oddly enough ― longing, all sweeping through the connection, through the force. they can’t figure out who’s where and what’s who’s, but it doesn’t matter now, did it ever matter to begin with? 

 

she manages to get to her feet, and she can see him preparing. he knows what she’s going to do before she’s doing it. pulling her lightsaber from the metal, she slams it into one of the wings of his tie silencer. she ungracefully begins to thrash her weapon about, hitting major parts of the airship and comes forth smoke billowing in the wind. she breathes heavily, as she feels the ship veering heavily towards the ground. 

 

before it crashes, she manages to jump back off his destroyed tie silencer and skidding through the desert sand. heaving for oxygen, her knees now bloody.  _ used to it aren’t you  _ _ ―  _ she lets out a snarl as she turns herself towards the crash, and watching it collide with the sand. the wind picks up the smoke and sand causing her vision of the collision hazy. 

 

she’s not alone, yet a bit of worry works its way into her system as she gets into a standing position. rey sees no one for a while, and she wonders if he’s still running. maybe, she could turn tail and run too. away from fate and destiny ― _ can’t run from the force  _ ― she could continue to try. stay in the black and white, without dealing with the complexities for the in between and sticking to the ignorance of anything grey.  _ too hard, too ― painful, hurtful.  _

 

out from the sand and smoke he draws nearer. his lightsaber alive and spitting, unstable as he.  _ pity ― anger,  _ his face contorts with it. she stands tall, watching him,  _ you have all my attention. isn’t that what you want?  _

 

_ jedai _ _ ―  _ that word again, such distaste in it. she can barely hold back her cringe. back to nicknames, still trying to hold onto their control of their own fates, their own destiny,  _ wont you give in child? _

 

they come face to face, a distance apart.  _ too long, not enough, different, still something remains the same ― your buns ― your scar ― lightsaber ― no helmet ― simple garments ―  _ it feels never ending. they utter not one word, but they were never ones that needed to open their mouths. they could hear, see,  _ feel,  _ if they searched hard enough. 

 

_ fight me ― impress me ― remind me ― _

 

rey takes a deep breath, trying to center herself before she takes off running towards him. her lightsaber in both hands and ready to clash. she brings hers down in offense when she’s close enough, and he whips his up into defense. 

 

_ the girl i’ve heard so much about.  _

 

_ two lightsabers sparking off one another in a cold, dark forest.  _

 

_ you’re a monster ― yes, i am.  _

 

she sees it, as clear as day and rey can tell he does too. he uses the force to shove her off him. he goes into offensive, she switches to defense. blocking and parrying his blows as each touch of their blades bring backs these echoes  _ ― _

 

_ you had a father who gave a damn about you―!  _

 

_ no, don’t go―! come back―! _

 

_ she’s frozen, fear lacing her veins and turning her blood cold. she can’t move, her gun still in hand yet she can’t bring it to point and fire at the masked man. what is this?  _

 

_ you’re not alone ― neither are you. fingers touching, the future it’s right there―  _

 

she breathes heavily, their eyes staring at each other as their blades are locked. emotions play out on his face, so easy to read. he once needed a helmet to conceal it, yet rey would see it anyway. she would know, he knows. she created distance between them once more. 

 

they stood, silent and ready and dancing around each other. how many times have they done this now? will it ever end? the adrenaline in their system, the itch in their hands, the roaring in their blood.  _ this is what you want, right, child?  _

 

rey holds her lightsaber out before her, pointing it at him. she wishes to speak, but her mouth is dry and she can not get any words to tumble out of her mouth.  _ too long, not long enough.  _ all these thoughts, feelings and memories echoing throughout their bond and she can’t bring herself to wall it off. this is their moment, their fate and destiny. this is what the force has been pushing them towards. it is what they must now face. 

 

they clash once more, the fire from the beginning fading away. their blows have no lethality to them, wild as they may be. he ducks under one of her slashes, and she stumbles back as he sweeps for her calves. their blades never touching the other, only intimidating. never to inflict pain, not like they use to. 

 

she slashes towards him, and he twists away, coming back with his blade ready but she blocks him. blue and red coming together, raw and yet beautiful at the same time. the mind, opening not just of their moments but others ― 

 

_ there’s been an awakening, have you felt it? ―  _ _ yes.  _

 

 _she’s opening a box, the object inside is calling to her. she can hear the voices, urging her ever forward. when she lifts the cover, she stares down on a lightsaber, cursed it may be. she feels her hand move on it’s own accord, and it reaches in to touch it ―_ _hallway, no, luke’s academy, a man about to bring his weapon onto her but a red blade stops him, a man in a mask with others, no come back_ _―! these are your first steps._

 

 _comfortable?_ _― not really. ―_ _im impressed. no one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map._ _― might want to rethink your technique. ― a hand raised, intrusion of the mind and poe dameron struggling against the mind tricks. pain, it’s all pain, poe dameron screaming ―_

 

“my friends,” rey whispers out, her glare piercing into kylo ren. “you chained him up and you―!” 

 

“that man, in your vision, he bore the same mask.” he mumbles, confusion laced on his face as he stares back at her through their mixed colors. “was that another look into the future?” 

 

“you―!” she feels anger, he can feel it too and she starts swinging on him more clumsy and wicked than before. her blows are harsher, faster and he takes all he can to block them from actually hurting him. 

 

a clash―

 

― _ finn, he picks up the lightsaber and he fights with all he’s got. he’s no match to kylo ren, and he’s bearing down on him. singing his shoulder, finn screams in pain. they continue their dance, finn manages a hit on kylo ren. but this is the end for him, and kylo ren clashes with finn and the lightsaber flies out of his hands. finn begins to run, but the red beam slices up his back and he falls to the snow covered earth.  _

 

rey screams in present time, feeling the anger from those moments surging through her again. this man in front of her, once upon a time trying to kill her friends. she uses the force to shove him back, and he only stumbles. 

 

“you would have killed him.” 

 

“he was a traitor.” 

 

rey breathes heavily, and continues on. their blades sing together, meeting each other pitch for pitch―

 

_ you need a teacher―! _

 

_ the battle in the throne room, back to back. it feels in balance, a peacefulness that they had never felt before. fighting together, as one.  _

 

_ he’s in his aircraft, staring down into the resistance ship. he feels leia organa’s presence, she can feel his too. the battle wages on as their connection wavers, and his hand on the button hesitates. it feels like time ticks forever on in this moment, and kylo breathes out as he takes his hand off the trigger ― _

 

_ the force ― rey concentrates, and when she opens her eyes she is ready again. she fights kylo ren, stronger than ever now and he doesn’t stand a chance. they stumble through the dark, winter forest as they fight and here is where she gives him her mark. up his chest and across his face.  _

 

_ han solo giving her his blaster― _

 

“you didn’t fire on your mother?” she breathes, her anger from before seeping away and being replaced with confusion and disbelief. “you couldn’t do it.” 

 

kylo ren says nothing as his anger and hatred begin to aflame. he starts on her now, baring his teeth and swinging his lightsaber around violently. he doesn’t utter a word, but she understands why he’s upset. she  _ knows _ him.

 

― _ yes, there it is. you have too much of your father’s heart in you, young solo. ―  _ _ i killed han solo. when the moment came i didn’t hesitate.  _ _ ― and look at you. the deed split your spirit to the bone. you’re imbalanced. bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber, you failed―! _

 

he knocks her onto her back, his lightsaber raised above her, as her blade is held in front of her to protect her from harm. kylo ren’s face is contorted with fury, one that is all too familiar to her, to him.  _ just a child in a mask― _

 

he lets out a roar, bringing his unstable blade onto her’s. it takes all her strength to keep it away from her.

 

“ben!”

 

this jolts him, and his weight on her gives and she uses the force to urge him backwards. she gets back onto her feet, blade ready. 

 

they come together again, like the forest, like the beginning. she holds his weapon arm, as he does she. the force sings louder, with their small touch. 

 

_ please, ben, don’t do this― _

 

_ no, no, you’re still holding on―! _

 

_ don’t go this way―  _

 

_ let go―! _

 

_ please― _

 

_ no, don’t go―! come back―!  _

 

they stare at each other now, once again, but with none of the animosity from star killer. it’s different now, their open wounds visible to each other. 

 

 _never had a choice ― hope ― still believe in him ―_ _not alone_ _―_

 

surprising rey, he turns his saber off first. she follows suit yet they don’t let go of each other. their breathing is ragged, their hearts bleeding from all that has happened. this is what the force was pushing them towards, what they couldn’t run away from. it was connecting them, and they couldn’t fight it anymore. 

 

“your scar has faded.” the words fall out of her mouth, even though she has said it before in a different way. 

 

“you still have the same buns.’” his eyes are roaming her entirety, he’s so obvious with his emotions.  _ so sensitive _ _ ―  _ “hey,” he growls, causing her to jolt. “you told me to come here, what do you want?”

 

she lets him go, as he does her and she backs up away from him. the force quiets a little as the back away from each other. she holds her arm where his hand use to hold, rubbing it and trying not to think about how much quieter the force got. 

 

“we found something,” she begins, turning away from him and looking back at the horizon from which he came. “on endor. it was…”

 

_ evil.  _

 

he can see it, can feel it. they are intertwined, and he sucks in a breath through his teeth as his eyes widen, staring into her back.  _ it can’t b _ _ e ― i saw it ― _ _ this is impossible _ _ ― with my own eyes, there ―  _ _ you could’ve _ _ ―  _ she looks back over her shoulder, giving him a sharp look. 

 

her face softens, though, and she turns back to him. “i don’t want to fight you anymore.” 

 

_ not like starkiller again ―  _ _ never, never rey _ _ ― _

 

“i don’t want to fight you, either.” he replies. 

 

“will you help me?” she questions, _i’m afraid ―_ _i am too_ _―_ _i just want this to be over_ _―_ _i don’t know if it ever will be over_ _―_ she takes in a breath, pushing her hair behind her ears and glancing away from him. “it can be if you _help_ me.”

 

he’s staring at her, helpless. ben solo, she sees him plain as day in the sun now. he’s standing before her with his heart falling out of his chest and lungs heaving for oxygen as his eyes stay rooted into hers.  _ reach for it.  _

 

“why didn’t you join me?” _stay with me?_ _―_ he finally asks, his eyes narrowing. _wasn’t it everything you wanted?_   “we could have ruled together.” kylo ren states, but the anger that would have usually laced his tone was gone. left behind was defeat and a sense of hopelessness. 

 

_ wasn’t it everything you ever wanted, child? _

 

“it wasn’t right.”  _ just wanted ben solo ―  _ rey replies, clipping her lightsaber back to her belt.  _ he wasn’t in the deal ―  _ _ that boy is gone _ _ ―  _ “no,” she squeaks, her head shaking. “no, he’s not.” her voice a whisper now, eyes searching his face and finding ben solo there. “i see him now. he’s right in front of me.” she’s stepping towards him  _ ― he was in front of me in that hut, in the throne room fighting, staring up at me on his knees ―  _ rey is looking up at him now, near enough to him to remind them of the elevator. 

 

_ you will not bow before snoke, you’ll turn. i’ll help you, i saw it― _

 

_ ―rey, i saw who your parents are.  _

 

hurt laces through the bond, her face contorting yet trying to remain still. she wants to hide it, but there’s no point when she’s connected with him. she feels the disappointment as she had felt back in that throne room,  _ nobodies ― sold you off for drinking money ― threw you away ― dead ― your greatest weakness, _

 

_ you can’t stop needing them.  _

 

_ no, don’t go―! _

 

“no,” he says now, hand twitching towards her wanting to reach out.  _ reach for it.  _ she grits her teeth, trying not to tear up at the memory, at the thought of it.  _ no, no, let me try again, it won’t hurt this time, let me ―  _

 

“you held everything i ever did want, use to want,” she admitted, taking in a deep breath and trying to center herself. “yet i couldn’t find ben solo. i was being offered everything i could have ever wanted by someone i didn’t know.” rey told him, with her voice now. “i don’t want any of that now.” she tells him,  _ never anything like that, just want a good life with my friends.  _

 

ben recoils, feels her words hit him in his heart and she can feel his conflict. the sorry that’s just ready to drip from his tongue but he’s still too stubborn to ever let it slip past. still feels he is right, somehow, and she rejected him. yet he’s still here, he’s still holding onto her and she him. the force had connected them, maybe they are both doomed together. 

 

“i can’t,” he mumbles, fear in his eyes as he stares down at her. _scared ― can’t run from the force._ “rey,” her voice falls out of his mouth and her knees want to give out and she wants to throw her arms around him and cry. tell him it’ll be okay, that he doesn’t need to figure everything out now that she’ll help him. _tell me where it hurts ―_ _everywhere_ _―_

 

“ben,” she crowds him now, her hand shaky and aching to  _ reach for it,  _ touch him. the force is sizzling around them, she can feel it buzzing. it wants this, it’s been pushing them towards this moment.  _ let me try again, it won’t hurt his time ― together ―  _

 

they stay silent and staring, both aching to touch but never coming into contact with the other. it’s too much right now, but this could be enough. rey memorizes ben solo’s face, the way his eyes hold all his emotion. he stares back at her, eyes connecting each freckle on her face. the force is simmering, washing over them and it’s a beautiful feeling. the feeling of an ocean coming to a calm after a storm. rebuilding, restoration, rebirth and  _ these are your first steps.  _

 

rey breaks it first saying, “help me.”  _ join me, stay with me ―  _

 

ben solo nods. 


End file.
